Wednesday 3 November 2010

A story which has nothing to do with food except I am eating while writing it

So, a while back, I was accidentally abducted by a bus driver. He didn't mean to steal me away, but apparently forgot about me and the fact that I was still sitting on his damn bus, and so, deciding his bus was empty, thought he'd knock off early for the night and head home.

Unfortunately for both of us, I wasn't watching where we were going, so only realised my abduction once we were well off the beaten track and bloody miles from the bus depot or town (I was actually briefly terrified..."am I actually being abducted right now?? christ, should I panic or would that be an embarrassing over-reaction??" I love that I am worried about being polite when considering the idea of being abducted. But anyway...).

Once I made my presence known to the bus driver (startling the poor man half to death - 'But, but, the bus is empty?? What are you doing here??'), I had to listen to him repeating over and over (as he drove me waaaay back across town) 'You should have told me you were still on the bus'. Now, I was a little put out by this since I pretty much presume (as I'm sure most bus-users do) that the driver will assume you are on the bus until you get OFF. Simple, right? I'm yet to see a system of bus travel in which after every stop, all passengers must reassert their presence to the driver. Call me crazy but that seems inefficient. Apparently he had actually looked around the bus before heading home, and hadn't seen me...which seems improbable, unless we assume I now have powers of invisibility! V exciting. Always wanted a super-hero power. Unfortunately for me, this power seems distinctly person-specific. No one else I've encountered since has been prone to my powers, and as best I can tell, everyone can see me.

Until this morning.

I'm on the bus this morning and the bus driver forgot to stop and let me (and the one other poor lad who was also still on the bus) off at our stop after I rang the bell. Now, this is a fairly normal experience, I grant you except that....

...it was the SAME driver! The abducting driver!

So the questions I have are: is my invisibility power growing such I can now shield others as well?? Is that bus driver the only one prone to my invisibility cloak? And, more importantly, how the hell does this man fail to see me even when I'm STANDING on an all-but empty bus, with another live human shouting at him to stop?? Perhaps he just hates me and thus wishes to torment me by trapping me on his bus forever?

I just want to be seen and heard! :-(

2 comments:

  1. Ha ha, this is both insane and insanely funny (as it is written, that is - I can imagine it was not nearly so funny at the time)!!! Also find it utterly hilarious that you were contemplating the most polite way to protest your abduction! Did he recognise you on the second occasion as his former captive?

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  2. Haha, it was pretty funny at the time - in a disbelieving sort of way! I have a feeling he did recognise me, but he didn't say anything. I did half-wonder yesterday if he might want to get his eyes checked...if he fails to see me, what else is he missing as he zips across Leicester in his shiny silver bus?!

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