Update

The tiles are down, the walls have been plastered and are ready to paint, all broken bricks and other structural problems are fixed, the lead pipe issue has been (expensively) resolved, the new kitchen has been delivered and is ready for construction/installation. Now, if I could only eat or drink, it would all be worth it.

I need to mention here that I'm not as useless as this blog would have you believe. I didn't just forget to keep posting this week...I haven't really been able to eat or drink most of the week (tiny but excruciatingly painful nibbles, sips and slurps here and there - sufficient to keep me mostly functional). So, in light of that, there didn't really seem much point in writing about food or cooking.

I have developed an oesophogeal ulcer which is just about as much fun as it sounds. It's a reaction to some antibiotics I was taking, but sadly it's not an easy fix. Essentially, I have mild to moderate pain in my chest most of the time, which becomes extreme whenever I try to eat or drink (or take a deep breath). It's also involved throwing up and generally feeling like complete shit. And I'm HUNGRY! Gargh. How utterly cruel that we are in the process of installing a new and fabulous kitchen when I CAN'T EAT. What I would do for a piece of bread right now...

Anyway, this is my 'sick note' and a promise that once I can, you know, swallow again, I shall regale you with tales of convalescent foods and the plans I have for when I can eat properly. Something to look forward to! In the meantime, I have a jelly cup with my name on it...

A new trick

Poached eggs are a big favourite of mine. There is little that can beat a truly amazing plate of Eggs Benedict with spinach and hot smoked salmon, served with not-quite-done poached eggs and hollandaise. Brunch of champions! And I do make it myself (since, like so many things, brunch isn't really 'done' here. All day breakfast, you betcha, but brunch hasn't quite landed. Is it an Americanism?) but poached eggs can be a bit of a pain. I do know how to do it properly, and I make them successfully (it really is all about the freshness of the egg) but they are the egg cooking method which takes the longest and seems to make the biggest mess.

Well. Today I fancied myself my standard miso noodle broth for lunch, and I needed some protein so I thought I'd poach an egg. I was all ready to faff around with a saucepan when a rogue thought in the back of my mind started cranking..."can't you poach eggs in the microwave?"

I have had some Bad Experiences cooking eggs in the microwave (one spectacularly ill-fated attempt at boiling an egg in the microwave at university is best not spoken of) and I have a distinct but ancient memory of my grandad exploding poached eggs many many years ago.

It turns out, though, that some clever creatures have more recently worked out how to poach an egg wonderfully in the microwave. Much less fuss and clean up - and (breathless, hungry pause), it takes about 60 seconds. That's seriously fast food. Yum yum!

Basically, you crack an egg into a microwave-safe bowl. Cover with 1/3c water, add a tsp of vinegar, cover the bowl and microwave on high for 60 secs (my microwave is about 800W). This gives you an egg which has a fully set white and the yolk is still a tad wobbly at the top, but is mostly cooked through (which is how I like them). If you like it softer, cook it for 40 secs on medium, and then give it 20 sec extra bursts until it's as you like it.

I love learning new ways of cooking which you know you will use again and again. Trying new recipes is all well and good, but it's the small things like this which change the way you cook and eat, I think.

Anyway, here's today's lunch.

Look at it, the gorgeous cheeky egg! 

Mastering the Microwave

I said in an earlier post that I'm not really a big microwave user. I have one largely for softening butter to smear on bread and for reheating rice or leftovers. That's pretty much my microwave repertoire. But given the current situation, I thought it might be sensible to try cooking other things in it, and last night was my first proper effort.

I took inspiration from Ken Hom on BBCGoodFood http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/1391/steamed-salmon-in-the-microwave- but I tweaked it a bit.

Microwaved Steamed Salmon

Slice 250-300g skinless salmon fillets into chunks (roughly an inch square?) and scatter with chopped ginger, garlic and spring onions. Cover with cling-film and refrigerate for a few hours.

Mix together 3 tbsp sweet chilli sauce, 1-2 tbsp lime juice and a splash of soy sauce. Set aside.

When you are ready to eat (and I do mean ready - side dishes all cooked and ready to be dished up), place plate of salmon in microwave and cook for 1 min 30 secs. I checked after 1 min, and if it had just been me eating, I might have stopped the cooking then because I like my salmon a bit more rare than does my partner. At 1 min 30 secs, the salmon will be cooked all the way through and will still be soft and flaky. Pour over the chilli/lime sauce and scatter with plenty of chopped fresh coriander. I served it on jasmine rice and alongside plenty of stir-fried greens in a meal that felt really rather virtuous!

This was a bit of a revelation actually - stupidly quick, healthy, delicious and no stinky salmon oil smells (which is important when you are cooking in a spare bedroom and you don't want all your jackets and coats to smell of fish!). Now, what else can I 'zap'...??

My favourite no-cook lunch

Again, this isn't really a recipe, but I love it and eat it regularly when I work from home. It's also perfect when you're trying to cut down on the actual cooking you do (gosh that seems a strange sort of comment to come from me!). This time I made it with tofu because I bought some and figured I ought to use it, but if I have an actual kitchen at my disposal, I often poach an egg and serve that on top instead of tofu.**

Miso Soup for One

Soak one small packet of rice vermicelli noodles in just-boiled water (I buy packets of noodles at the Asian grocer which are single portions, but if you can only get large packets, aim for around 50g noodles). After 3-4 mins (they should be quite al dente as they will soften further in the soup), drain. To the bowl, add 2 tbsp miso paste, a sprinkling of dried seaweed and a good handful of fresh spinach. Stir vigorously until the miso is dissolved (this can take a couple of mins - it's pesky stuff). Add in chopped tofu and chopped spring onions. Protein-packed and delish with no-cooking and in under 5 mins. Good stuff.

Yet another sublimely bad picture. I did actually find the camera (or one of them) and took another pic, but it was even worse. Apparently I don't take good photos when I'm hungry! 

**I now have 3/4 packet of tofu to use. Any suggestions??

The Only Chocolate Cake Recipe You Will Ever Need

This is easily the best home-made chocolate cake I've eaten - it's rich, moist and delicious. If you sandwich it with icing and frost the top, it looks seriously impressive, and the best part is that it's stupidly easy to make - no creaming butter and sugar! The recipe does require a food processor, but if you don't have one, just beat everything together vigorously with a wooden spoon until smooth and thick.

Kick-Ass Chocolate Cake

1 2/3 cup plain flour
1 1/2 tsp baking soda (bicarb)
1 1/2 cups white sugar
2/3 cup cocoa powder
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups milk (I use skimmed but I doubt it would be a problem to change)
100g melted butter
2 eggs
1 tsp good vanilla

Icing
100g butter softened
250g icing sugar
1/3 cup cocoa
dash of milk
1 tsp good vanilla

Heat oven to 180degC. Grease 2x 20cm cake pans and line with baking paper (or one deep 20cm cake pan - I make two smaller cakes rather than splitting the bigger one, but use what you have. Actually I've made this in various tins and it's always good - you'll just have to adjust the cooking times).

Bung all the cake ingredients into a food processor or bowl and mix. Once it's combined, I mix for around 30 secs. It should be a smooth, thick, pale brown, rather wet mixture. Pour into prepared tins.

If you are using 2 smaller tins, it'll take around 30 mins in the hot oven. If you are baking one large cake to split, it'll take around 50mins. But check the cake is done with a skewer before removing from oven.

Leave in tins for 5 mins, then turn out and allow to cool completely before icing.

To make the icing, bung the icing sugar, cocoa and softened butter into food processor. Add vanilla and a dash of milk and blend until smooth and frosting-like. Again, just beat together in a bowl if you don't have a food processor. You can use this icing for both the top and the filling of the cake. I sometimes fill the centre of the cake with jam and cream instead, and then frost the top, but it is rather deeply delicious having frosting in the middle and on the top.

And it's done. I am pretty sure you will never make another chocolate cake again once you've done this one! 

Day ?? Smoked Salmon "Carbonara"

This post comes with an apology to all Italians and all of those who feel strongly about not destroying the culinary heritage of such a proud food nation. I have forgotten entirely what we ate the past few days, but I do remember Sunday night's almost-no-cook meal, so thought I'd post it. It's a sort-of carbonara but it's bastardised beyond all recognition from the original, and for that I'm sorry. I love proper carbonara, made with salty dry-cured organic no-nitrates bacon (I prefer bacon to pancetta, I've discovered after much trial and error), eggs and parmesan with nothing more added than some black pepper and sea salt. This is nothing like that. But it's delicious and quick and the only cooking involved is boiling the pasta (which, when you are working on renovating your kitchen until 9pm without realising the time or the fact you haven't eaten is just what you need!). Here 'tis...

Smoked Salmon Almost Carbonara
Serves 2

250g pasta, cooked according to packet
2 eggs
2 tbsp creme fraiche (or double cream)
handful of grated fresh parmesan
100-120g smoked salmon
1-2 chopped spring onions
100g fresh spinach
1/2 cup broccoli
Black pepper and salt

Add chopped broccoli to the pot the pasta is cooking in - it needs about 3-4 mins.
In a small bowl, beat together the eggs, creme fraiche and parmesan with a good grinding of black pepper. Add spring onions and tear the smoked salmon into small pieces - mixing this in.
Before draining pasta, reserve half a cup of the cooking water.
Drain pasta and return to pot (don't put pot back on stove - put it on a chopping board or similar). Add 1/4c of the cooking water, and the egg mixture, plus the spinach. Mix everything together. If it looks dry, add a bit more cooking water. Stir again then put the lid back on and leave for 1-2 mins. Stir, add more black pepper and salt if it needs it. Serve with a crapload more grated parmesan and enjoy. 

Day 4: Basil and Garlic Meatballs and Spaghetti

Not overly imaginative today, but as I've spent the entire day deciphering students' mysterious arguments about globalization (including, in one particularly weird example, the lack of emotional engagement one has when eating McDonalds' burgers, as compared to meals prepared by "enthusiastic housewives". Hm), I felt carbs and comfort food was needed. So, this enthusiastic non-housewife decided to make emotionally-connected meatballs!

Basil and Garlic Meatballs and Spaghetti
Serves 2

250g free range or organic pork mince
3 finely chopped spring onions
3 cloves garlic, crushed
handful of basil leaves
small handful of grated parmesan
salt and pepper

Mix all ingredients (using the stalks of the basil, finely chopped, while reserving the leaves for the sauce) together with your hands making sure it's all combined. Mix into small meatballs (teaspoons of mixture roughly). Fry in a tbsp olive oil on a medium heat until browned on all sides...



...then add a jar of passata (or tomato puree - not tomato paste), a tsp sugar, salt and about a tbsp of balsamic vinegar or red wine vinegar. Simmer for about 10 mins or until the sauce has thickened slightly and the meatballs are cooked. Taste and adjust seasonings if necessary. Stir through the leaves of the basil and if you fancy it, some fresh spinach.

Serve with spaghetti, a drizzle of olive oil and a generous grating of parmesan. You can't have too much parmesan in my book.

Day 3: Thai Curry Laksa

I've got a head cold at the moment. Nothing that's likely to kill me or anything, but I feel a tad poorly and snotty, so last night I thought a good spicy soup would be just the thing. And rice vermicelli noodles have the added benefit of needing no actual cooking - perfect for the temporary kitchen! It's not really a recipe, but here it is anyway:

Thai Curry Laksa

Pour boiling water over rice vermicelli noodles and soak for 4 mins or so. Leave them slightly chewy as they will soften more once they're in the soup.

Cook chunks of butternut squash (or pumpkin) in microwave with small amount of water for 3 mins.

Saute sliced onion, add green curry paste, garlic and coriander stalks, and sliced chicken (or prawns if you're not allergic) and fry until fragrant. Add 1 tin of coconut milk, half a can of water, a pile of vege (I used broccoli, mange tout, baby corn and green beans), a handful of kaffir lime leaves (essential!) 2 tbsp fish sauce, 1 tbsp brown sugar and the juice of half a lime. Simmer 5 mins or until vege are tender. Add a large handful of fresh spinach, the cooked butternut squash, coriander leaves and bean sprouts. Pour soup over drained vermicelli noodles and add the vege/chicken to the bowl. Slurp and enjoy!

Sushi for beginners

I love sushi. It's one of the things I miss most about New Zealand - there, sushi is cheap and readily available and - more importantly - fresh. The stuff you can buy at supermarkets and the likes in Britain tastes like Styrofoam and I'm always seriously dubious about its freshness. The only time I can get fresh sushi living where I do (it's different if you live in London - you can get everything in London) is when I go to Milton Keynes where they have a Yo!Sushi which is a sushi restaurant chain. It's nice but quite expensive (if you eat as much as I do) and we really don't go to Milton Keynes that often anymore. So I get sushi hankerings. Today I'm rather proud to say, I made my first homemade sushi to actually taste like proper sushi. I've made it in the past, but it always lacked something. Not sure what I did differently today, but it was great! And so pretty I had to share. What a feast!

Oh, and the rice came from a bag of sushi rice I had cooked and frozen last week - even someone with as little grasp on reality as me wouldn't cook sushi rice for herself for lunch (Ok, sorry, that's patently untrue - I've done this many times, but I wouldn't do it in a temporary kitchen. I do have limits to my crazy).

Et voila! Or, Yo! It's sushi!

Fresh yellow-tail tuna and avocado sushi

Making Do

A sensible person would probably just eat takeaways for the few weeks we will be without a kitchen. And am I sensible? No indeedy. No, what I have done instead is recreate a kitchen in our spare bedroom. It is indoor camping if you like (although my partner assures me that if this is my idea of camping, then I am sorely out of touch with the majority who survive camping adventures on tins of baked beans and charred sausages).

Let us take a tour around the temporary digs, shall we? Once again I apologise for the appalling quality of photos - we really need to find the battery charger for the camera...

The "Kitchen" 

The "bench", featuring: chopping board, lovely loaf of bread from Gail's bakery (dark sourdough - yum!), small camp stove, coffee pot. 

The "Pantry", featuring: (on upper shelf) booze, Sodastream maker, spare coffee pot, more booze, soy sauce, vinegar, rice wine etc etc; (on lower shelf): cereal, pepper, marmalade, vegemite, coffee, sugar, panetonne, pickled ginger, chutney, popcorn and assorted other 'essentials'. 

The "Oven" featuring, the microwave, toaster and kettle. And our wicked 1960s radio which I got at the lovely vintage shop in Towcester. And yes, those are cabinets from the old kitchen which I dragged upstairs one afternoon. They house the china, darling. 

The "Stovetop" featuring, the larger camp stove, toastie-maker (essential for weekend lunches when one spends the weekend putting up plasterboard and/or plumbing/wiring), fruit bowl, water purifier (ok, I'm starting to see why my idea of camping may not be 'normal'), Magimix (this isn't actually being used - I just didn't have anywhere else to put it). 

So that's it. Them's the cooking facilities for the next few weeks. While it's not exactly roughing it, nor it is entirely simple to cook. I don't have an oven, so everything has to be cooked in a pot (or in the microwave - which I'm afraid I usually use solely for reheating rice, softening butter and occasionally defrosting meat). I only have 2 gas rings, which is plenty most of the time, but whatever I cook has to be relatively quick because the gas doesn't last that long (and it's expensive). Cleaning up is also a challenge because we have to do it in the bathroom (you'll have noted the absence of the kitchen sink in the pics) and as we recently installed a new bathroom, I'm terrified we are going to drop a plate on the lovely new porcelain sink and break it (the sink, not the plate - plates are easy to replace...sinks, not so much).

The challenge is to try and avoid too many ready meals or takeaways during this time. I am going to use quick cheats like the odd fresh pasta sauce, gourmet prepared soup (because slow cooking lentils or barley on the camp stove doesn't seem sensible) and fresh pasta instead of dry (because it cooks more quickly). Before the old kitchen was ripped out, I also cooked a load of rice and froze it in meal-sized portions so that I wouldn't have to do too many dishes each meal. Once that runs out I will have no qualms about buying ready-cooked rice for the same reason.

I suspect we'll be eating quite a few stirfries and pasta meals, but hopefully I can keep things varied enough that we don't go mad. So far we've had salmon tikka curry with paratha (which doesn't sound too hard-done-by, does it?) and a rather odd meal of pasta with meatballs made from leftover (frozen) Christmas stuffing. Tonight I'm not sure - probably a stirfry with chicken. I'll keep you posted. If you have any suggestions for quick, easy and tasty one-pot meals, I'm all ears! 

These are the cakes of our life

I haven't had a completely useless year food-wise (though close to it). There have been cakes, and these are some of the nicer ones. The recipe for Andrew's birthday cake (white chocolate and raspberry mousse cake) is below. Just think, once the new kitchen is finished, I'll be able to bake 2 cakes at once. That's the stuff frosting-dreams are made of!

Chocolate Cake. Not sure why.
This is my go-to, never-fail,  rich,delicious and foolishly simple chocolate cake recipe. I must post that, actually. 

Andrew's Birthday Cake: White Chocolate and Raspberry Mousse

My friend Rosie's Birthday Cake
(in 2012 she shared her birthday with  the Queen's Jubilee Celebrations, so really, I had to do it!)

White Chocolate and Raspberry Mousse Cake

I made this cake in an attempt to recreate a cake Andrew had once bought me for my birthday (the final year of my PhD on a now infamous birthday which involved me having an epic melt-down of sobbing, snot-laden proportions). The cake was the one truly lovely thing about the whole day and neither of us have ever stopped thinking about how good it was (the cake that is, not the snot-covered PhD candidate). This is actually my first ever baking invention (not that I can claim to have invented the cake part - that's pretty much a basic vanilla genoise sponge) - and I was pretty happy with it. I actually soaked the sponge slices with vanilla syrup before putting the mousse layers on, but I wouldn't bother next time - the mousse provides more than enough flavour and moisture. 

Cake Recipe

4 Eggs

155g (3/4 cup) caster sugar

115g (3/4 cup) plain flour

35g (1/4 cup) cornflour

50g butter, melted

Preheat oven to 180°C. Brush a round 22cm (base measurement) cake pan with melted butter to grease. Line the base and side with non-stick baking paper.

Beat together the eggs and sugar in a medium bowl until the sugar has dissolved and the mixture is thick and pale (I actually did this in my food processor. Sift the flour and cornflour over the egg mixture and use a large metal spoon to gently fold until just combined. Add the butter and fold until just combined. Spoon the mixture into the prepared pan. Bake in oven for 30-35 minutes or until the surface is dry and the cake springs back when lightly tapped. Set aside for 5 minutes to cool before turning out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Mousse Recipe

300g frozen raspberries, thawed

100g white chocolate, finely chopped

2 tbs boiling water

3 tsp powdered gelatine

250ml (1 cup) double cream

2 eggs

100g (1/2 cup) caster sugar

To make the mousse, put the raspberries in the bowl of a food processor and process. Strain through a fine sieve over a bowl and throw out the seeds.

Put chocolate in a medium heatproof bowl over a saucepan half-filled with simmering water. Stir for 5 minutes or until the chocolate melts and is smooth.

Place the water in a small glass and sprinkle over the gelatine. Stir until the gelatine dissolves.

Beat the cream in a medium bowl until soft peaks form.

In a different bowl and with a clean beater, beat together the eggs and sugar in a bowl until thick and pale.

Add the egg mixture to the melted chocolate and stir until just combined. Add the raspberry mixture and gelatine and gently fold until just combined. Add the cream and fold until just combined.

Line a round 22cm (base measurement) cake pan with plastic wrap, allowing the sides to overhang. Use a large serrated knife to cut the cake into 3 even layers. Place the top layer, cut-side up, in the lined pan. If you want, you can brush the sponge with liquor (raspberry vodka would be great I guess!) or sugar syrup (I used a simple vanilla sugar syrup). Spoon half the raspberry mousse over the top and smooth out. Repeat layering with remaining cake and raspberry mousse, finishing with a layer of cake.

Raspberry Jelly Topping

300-400g raspberries (fresh or frozen), thawed

Icing Sugar (to taste)

1 sachet of powdered gelatine

Process the raspberries until smooth, and then push through a sieve as before – discard the seeds. Put liquid in a pot and bring to the boil. Add enough sugar so that it is slightly sweetened, but still sharp (provides a good contrast to the sweetness of the cake). Boil the mixture down by about half so that it is concentrated, then sprinkle over the gelatine (while mixing!) – mix in thoroughly. Set aside to cool for a while – I actually left it about an hour. Then carefully pour over the top of the cake. It will seep down the sides a little bit but not too much if the cake tin is a good fit.

Place in the fridge for 6 hours or overnight to set. I wouldn’t cover it until the jelly is set, or you will get marks on the top.

If you want, you can decorate it with grated white chocolate. I made a basic runny icing which I smoothed around the sides of the cake (to give the chocolate something to stick to) and then sort of pressed finely grated white chocolate all around it. It was quite messy, but eventually coated it. I guess alternatively, you could make a vanilla buttercream and smooth that around it, or a white chocolate ganache J

It'll all be worth it in the end...

9 months ago, we bought our first house. It was a very exciting - if fraught (thanks to the evil vendors) - time. The house itself is a lovely 1930s house with loads of character and space. Foolish, naive creatures that we are, we thought it needed just a bit of refurbishing - paint and the odd tweak here and there. Little did we realise we were going to end up doing an extensive renovation/refurb project which would warrant taking all the rooms back to brick and starting from scratch. It's been exhausting, and there have been many many (many many) unforeseen problems along the way (flooded, frog inhabited back gardens anyone? Broken boiler? gas pipe leaks? underfloor flooding?). We just keep saying to ourselves over and over - "it'll all be worth it in the end". And I'm sure it will. If only I had the energy to get there.

But; to food (or food-adjacent) matters! When we moved into the house, the kitchen looked like this:

Old Kitchen

Not too bad really - you might even be saying that it looks nice. And yes, it did look nice. Quite serviceable indeed what with the running water and functioning cupboards and stove. So, naturally, we tore the damn thing to pieces.

It now looks like this**:

Worse than you could possibly imagine

Oh the bomb-site-like horror of it all. There's rubble and dust and awful awful lead pipes (lead poisoning might yet turn out to be the cause of our insanity - http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jan/07/violent-crime-lead-poisoning-british-export - stay tuned!) and there have been times in the past 2 days (god, has it really only been 2 days?? Feels more) when I wonder if it will ever look good again.

We've actually taken out a wall as well as gutting the kitchen. The room will be bigger and lighter and much more useable...and it will be worth it in the end. I should also point out that we aren't completely bat shit crazy - the old kitchen looked nice on the surface, but it was old and ratty and mould-infested and the oven was stupidly small. Plus the adjoining room was one we didn't use but with the redesign, we will. It's all going to be worth it. This is what the finished product will look like (except with different coloured tiles and walls. The wine will definitely be there).

So, while it's currently total chaos, it really will be lovely once it's done. And check out the GORGEOUS oven I've got - I can't wait! Two ovens and a grill plus 6 hobs - I need to start thinking of what to cook once it's all up and running (please feel free to make suggestions!) It's quite a good job we took out a wall, because it turns out it's too big to fit through the doors. I'm still not wholly sure how we are going to get it inside...

Anyway. House renovations have occupied my life for quite a while, but I thought I'd take another stab at this blogging lark, because I'm really rather hoping that - once the kitchen chaos is finished - that 2013 will be the year of my food revival. It's all felt a little perfunctory and survivalist of late, but hopefully a shiny new kitchen, and a shiny new super oven will help inspire me. At the very least dust will no longer be a primary ingredient, so that'll be a vast improvement on the current situation!

**Apologies for the dodgy picture...I can't find the battery for the proper camera so I'm reduced to cellphone shots